If you read my post about my breastfeeding journey I forgot to mention that I currently have breast implants. I have in fact had 2 breast surgeries. The 1st, in 2004 and the second in 2013. Honestly looking back, I did not care about breastfeeding, I did not think it would ever be part of my future. I now look back and regret that I did not take it more seriously. At the time of my 1st surgery, in my early 20’s I was not at all thinking about ever having children, however I was told that the surgery would be done without harming the milk ducts and I would still have the ability to breastfeed. I thank god that I am now able to nourish my little boy with no issues.
Both sets of implants were placed under the muscle through an incision on the crease of my breast. For my 1st surgery I had 320 CC saline implants, Silicone was not approved by the FDA at the time, done in NYC. My recovery was incredibly painful, the rip the muscle off your chest to cover the implant. I got through it thinking about all the cute clothes I could now wear with my new bewbs! And they were perfect! I was 23 and was not thinking about my future 35 year old body that would be the main source of food for my baby boy. Fast forward to 2013, I had my implants for almost 10 years and I felt as my body matured into my 30s (I gained weight) they were now too small, to far apart and too firm. So I went under the knife again this time in Waldorf, Maryland and had my second surgery. This time I got 600 CC silicone implants…yes 600…almost double the size of my 1st set. It’s true what they say, you get boob greedy and I was no exception and went way too big. This time I don’t even think I asked whether or not it would affect my ability to breastfeed, shows where my head was at.
Fast forward 4 years, Im married and my husband and I start the process of family planning and in July of 2016 we find out that we are expecting our 1st baby! Totally an exciting time but any woman who has ever been pregnant has at least one irrational fear and one of mine was that I botched my boob job and now my baby would have to suffer because of it! Throughout my pregnancy I kept looking for a sign that told me…yes you can breastfeed, but my breast did not change till after I had Atticus.
Now let get into these changes…lol. After I had my c-section Atticus latched on right away, and if you read my blog on Breastfeeding you know more about that journey. At my sons 1st check up I was told I needed to pump to get more ounces into him, which I did successfully. After this pumping session all hell broke loose on my chest. One day they were as hard as basket balls because I was so engorged, then they were limp like a windsocks, then one was a basketball and one was a windsock, it was ridiculous..! When I hit my 3 month mark the engorgement settled down and I could see what I was left with, 2 completely different shaped boobs, one was round and perky, the other is sorta deflated and oblong. In clothes and in bras you would never know, but I can see they are not going to look as they did before.
So now what? Well, to be honest, I don’t care, in fact there is a feeling of pride that I have been able to feed my son this long, I could have ditched feeding him months ago and saved my boobs, but I didn’t, I didn’t want too. Sure I hopped they would return to looking as they did before, but they will never look like their old selves again. But I am still going, 7 months strong!
After I am finished having children ( I want 1 more!) I thought I might have a corrective surgery. But now that my breast have taken on a whole new purpose that is not centered around vanity i’ve even considered taking them out all together (then I get scared..lol). I see all these cute girls with small boobs and I think…I wish I had small boobs! And then I remember I had small boobs to begin with and should have never touched them….! The lessons you learn later in life…god bless them!